Canal Winchester, OH - Jamaal Washington wishes cardboard could offer more than just shelter or signage. He wishes it could provide sustenance.“Sometimes, when I’m standing on the corner with my sign that says HOMELESS … PLEASE GIVE ME SOME MONEY, I wish I could just break off a piece and eat it.” Washington said dreamily. “But then the sign would probably say HOMELESS … PLEASE GIVE ME SOME. And that could get my skinny ass kicked.”
We fucked with Washington a little by telling him Swedish scientists were at present busy in the lab developing a line of delicious edible cardboard, and that results in the elementary school pizza crust clinical trials looked promising.
“Sheeeeeeeeeeit. Those Swedish bastards stole my idea!” Washington shouted, bending to lift a still-burning cigarette thrown at him from a passing car. “Man, I am this close to eatin’ my own shit. If I could work one up I just might!"
Washington took a drag from his cigarette and tossed it away before turning back with a look of desperation in his eyes.
"You got a dollar, my friend?" He asked. "I'll give you this bandana ... You know you look like you could use a nice blowjob for five dollars ... Look, ma, no teeth!”
