Thursday, October 22

Police call apathetic neighbor “person of disinterest.”

Heath, OH - A woman was gunned down in her driveway late last evening in what police are calling a crime of passion.

Norma Elizabeth Charles, 42, had settled in Heath just last year to protect her family of cats from the bullet-riddled, "black-peopled" streets of south central Los Angeles, CA.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, an unfazed next-door neighbor had more than a few words to say.

"Those fucking cats, man. I hated those bastards. Made me crazy mad. Made me want to go get my gun, which I just now buried in my backyard and kill 'em all, you know?" He said. "Howling all night. Looking to get some. Norma didn't give a shit. She was in there doing whatever it is she did. Frankly, I'm glad she's gone. I couldn't care less, to be quite honest ... Is someone gonna throw those cats in the body bag with her?"

The Police seemed to be taken aback by such comments -- rather than by the obvious powder burns on the right cuff of the man's shirt and what appeared to be blood spatter on one collar.

"That's just ketchup," The man said, noticing us noticing.

"I'd have to call that guy a 'person of disinterest' right now." Officer Murray Handelman said. "I mean, look at him. It's obvious he doesn't care. In America, that's the kind of shit that can get you busted."