Heath, OH - Heeding the advice of colleagues, family members and last night’s blind date, local television personality, Dan A. Beverly, finally went and fucked himself this morning in the handicapped stall of the company restroom. “I should have done that a long time ago,” Beverly noted, a post-coital cigarette hanging from his lips. “I really enjoyed it … best two minutes of my life, quite frankly.”
Beverly scoffed when asked if he had encountered any difficulty in the confined space of the crapper. “Well, I’m from Nantucket … if you catch my drift. A simple tuck and fold, that’s really all it took.”
The Heath Ledger: Fake News with Local Flavor.
