Wednesday, January 23

Vatican archive unearths rare find: Paul's Thank You Note to Corinthians.

VATICAN CITY — Archivists for the Catholic Church stumbled upon a most unlikely find — a hand-written note from Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians thanking them humbly for a yet unknown gift. The text was made public yesterday by a church eager for a public relations boost. Experts estimate the note to be from around year 61 A.D.

This is a first for the Holy See, who usually keeps a closely guarded watch over the secure archives.

Translated from Koine Greek, the text of the card reads: "Dear Corinthians, Thank you so much for the gift. It is greatly appreciated and will really come in handy in the coming days. Thanks again, BFF Paul."

Theological historian Martin Hodges examined the text as soon as it was released.

"It's basically the template for every high school graduate Thank You card ever written. It's overly vague, somewhat disingenuous, lacks any specificity whatsoever. It's almost like he had totally forgotten what the gift was."

Others have attempted to surmise what was the gift in question by dissecting the text.

"Maybe it was a savings bond or a gift card. Those are always a hit ... especially when you're not sure what to get that special someone." suggested Richard Cayston, Ph. D. - a fellow theologian from Kings College in London.

Hodges, however, was quick to disagree.

"Paul was imprisoned in Rome at the time this tract was written." Hodges remarked. "Perhaps the Corinthians sent Paul a file baked inside a delightfully delicious cake."