Thursday, April 9

Marathon runner had great heart. Sort of. Not really.

ATLANTA, GA - Autopsy results revealed area marathoner James Henderson, 48, had a “grotesquely enlarged” heart when he collapsed and died during the Peachtree Half-Marathon a few weeks ago.

Locals say you can add “good” to the list of adjectives used to describe that grotesquely enlarged, no longer beating heart.

“He had a good heart.” His wife of 25 years Jane Henderson said, wiping a tear from her eye. “He liked people. Running right past them, mostly. Telling them to suck it … I guess it was all in fun.”

“He waved at me once as he ran by.” A neighbor said.

“His heart was the size of a frickin’ basketball.” County Coroner Ed Stetson said pantomiming a foul shot. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It was pretty awesome cutting him open, seeing that thing in there. I’m having a hard time getting it back in the chest cavity to be honest.”

The family will attempt to put Henderson’s heart on display Thursday from 3-6PM and Friday from 1-3PM. Literally. You gotta see this thing.