Columbus, OH – Todd Sanford wasn’t feeling well when he woke up this morning. Yes, he had a few beers last night. Truth be told, he has a few beers every night. This was something different.
Ever the trooper, Sanford decided to give it a go this morning, what with meetings already scheduled, lunch dates and such. Not a “solid” decision, if you catch the drift.
At some point during his 9:00 touch-base with account services, Todd threw his pencil down and rushed out of the room without explanation, strategically covering the crack of his ass with a notebook. Jr. Account executive, Meredith Mann, lacking the requisite confidence to be even the slightest bit valuable to the organization, felt sure it was because of something she had said. Women.
The Fiber One® people would have stood aghast over the toilet bowl into which Todd Sanford fell ill, as would have the Dinty Moore® people, and even the Jolly Green Giant®.
“I was leaving the kitchen and heard a scream.” Co-worker Ed Mavis said. “It was coming from the bathroom. I quick made like I forgot something in the kitchen.”
A full ten minutes passed before the semi-conscious Sanford was found facedown on the floor.
“His pants were soiled. Badly. And he had forgotten to flush … I can never un-see what was in that bowl.” Jim Boyer said, choking back the gag reflex. “For a split second I thought about leaving him there and using the restroom upstairs. Instead, I decided to snap off a few pictures and post them to the Internet.”
Thanks to Boyer's heroics, the contents of the toilet bowl are a trending topic on Twitter.
Sanford is expected to make a complete recovery, at least physically.