Tuesday, June 29

Area man doesn’t want son hanging around with those “macular degenerates.”

Heath, OH - Charles Ewing, 55, wonders why his son can’t just be like a normal person and hang out with people his own age.

“He spends half his time hanging down at the old folks home chasing after old guys and their walkers while his buddies are out chasing tail, bird-dogging.” Ewing says. “I worry about him. That’s all.”

“Jesus. These people, dad, they don’t have anyone.” Charlie Ewing Jr. replied not quite believing his ears. “My visits lift their spirits. You can see it. Besides, I enjoy their company. More than I do yours, you miserable prick.”

“I always thought you might be gay, Charlie … this just proves it.”

“Because I’m helping others? You’ve got some problems, dad.”

“Get your eyes off my crotch!”