Columbus, OH — According to German Village resident Tony Knapp, he’s the Andrew Carnegie of love. Carnegie, one of history’s most renowned ‘givers’, established a network of public libraries throughout the United States, United Kingdom, and other English-speaking countries. He also helped found what is now Carnegie Mellon University, and built Carnegie Hall in New York City. Carnegie saw his philanthropic works as investments in humanity.
Knapp’s “investments”, however, haven’t been deposited into the bank accounts of local charities, but in the vaginas of various women in the greater Columbus area.
“To be successful in the baby-making business, let’s just say it takes a lot of practice.” Knapp contends.
Knapp, who eschews any and all prophylactics, claims he’s helping to create the next generation of Ohioans, one steamy rope of ejaculate at a time. Knapp also avoids traditional sperm donation procedures via local sperm banks.
“Let’s face it … sperm banks aren’t that into reverse cowgirl, and don’t call you Jesus Christmas when they come.”
Knapp then concluded the interview by winking and making ‘call me’ signs at my lesbian assistant, Patty.
