Heath, OH - The Nobel Committee awarded the prestigious Nobel Prize for Literature to The Heath Ledger this afternoon! And we couldn’t be more proud.
We’d like to thank our faithful readers for their support. This Nobel Prize for Literature is for you Jonathon, John, Yvonne, Cher, Matt, Melissa and Connie. Thanks to you seven for reading.
Special thanks also to our (hopefully) faithful wives who tolerate us, and even reposted that story about the midget strip club dancer that time to their Facebook walls. Without your support we’d probably still do this.
Thanks also to our moms who birthed us, and to our dads who mentally abused us. Without you two assholes, none of this would have been possible.
Some have said awarding us with the Nobel Prize for Literature is an attempt to take the spotlight off giving the Nobel Peace Prize to President Barack Obama, Commander in Chief of our heavily armed forces working tirelessly around the globe to ensure people everywhere recognize who’s running this planet, bitches. But we think that’s a load of hooey.
We will not let this go to our heads. You have our word. Besides, it’s not like a Cable Ace Award or anything. I mean, really, this is it? It looks like a penny.