Tuesday, March 23

Earthlings! Hello. It’s me, the Larry King 3000. I am here … in the future! The future. The future. The future. Echoooooo! Echooooo Echooooo … And the future … the future … the future … is now! Now … Now … Now ... I just got back from Austin, where, after being tossed into the belly of a 737 by baggage mishandlers, I arrived at SXSW in time to host a panel entitled, “What we learned from watching middle-aged men spray-paint their bald spots.” In summary, we didn’t learn much … I’d like to thank whoever stole me from the convention center and left me on the bar at Coyote Ugly. All those body shots got me good and hard drive! Zinger! ... Ugly hard drives will give you a floppy disc. I've got one with Shawn’s name on it. Zinger! ... I’m in need of some routine maintenance, if you know what I mean … Zinger! So ... until next time … this is the Larry King 3000.