Hey you. Yeah, you, punk.

You didn't give me the benefit of the doubt.

Haven't you ever heard of a thing called mistaken identity? How about I mistake you for a downfield primary neutralization zone target, you no-good dirtbag?

Sure, I shot and maimed an honor student who was delivering medication to his elderly grandmother. Doesn't that still make him a drug-dealer? Who can tell these days with the baggy low-ass pants and the sideways baseball hats?

Seriously, for once I'm asking questions first and shooting later.

What's that? You're going to take me to court? Well, me and my 1.245-caliber Wildey Magnum whale gun are here to pass ultimate judgment, punk. How about I put some preconceived bullets into your preconceived notions, you presumptuous piece of garbage?

They say it's not good to assume. Do you know why? Because it makes an ass out of me, and a dead man out of you, you sonofabitch.

Charles Bronson was an actor/vigilante and is currently guest commentator for The Heath Ledger, although that might not last. You can find out more about his life and viewpoints in his book, "Read My Book, You Sonofabitch!"

OTHER DEATH WISHES
Tax Deliquent
Carbon Footprint
Dump On My Lawn
Be Kind, Rewind
White Slavery
Tainted Smack
Wife & Daughter

Hey you. Yeah, you, punk.

Your didn't file your tax return on time

And now I'm gonna blow your H&R Block off you no-good piece of dirt sonofabitch.

Unlike those pansies at the IRS, I'll give you a real deadline, dirtbag!

Me and my .375 Wildey Magnum are gonna audit your tax-evading delinquent ass.

The only refund you’re gonna get is an insurance check for a pine box. I hope you like deductions, because you’re in line for the ultimate write-off, you low-life slimeball maggot.

What’s that? You got people?

Well, good thing I got people killers, you sonofbitch.

Charles Bronson was an actor/vigilante and is currently guest commentator for The Heath Ledger. You can find out more about his life and viewpoints in his book, "Read My Book, You Sonofabitch!"

OTHER DEATH WISHES
Tax Deliquent
Carbon Footprint
Dump On My Lawn
Be Kind, Rewind
White Slavery
Tainted Smack
Wife & Daughter

Hey you. Yeah, you, punk.

Your carbon footprint is too damned big.

And you know what? Mother Gaia's sent me and my .457 caliber Wildey magnum to put a few holes in your o-zone layer, know what I mean, dirtbag?

Let's see how you enjoy my lead footprint all over your oil-hoarding, Hummer-driving, CO2-spewing punk-ass, you natural resource wasteoid! I'm thinking globally, and killing locally, greaseball!

And I'm energy efficient, you polar ice-cap melting sonofabitch, because I never miss. It's incandescent lights-out for you -- you hurricane-causing, global-warming, arrogant piece of human garbage.

Here's An Inconvenient Truth for you, punk: I'm gonna recycle your ass six feet under, you sonofabitch!

Charles Bronson was an actor/vigilante and is currently guest commentator for The Heath Ledger. You can find out more about his life and viewpoints in his book, "Read My Book, You Sonofabitch!"

OTHER DEATH WISHES
Tax Deliquent
Carbon Footprint
Dump On My Lawn
Be Kind, Rewind
White Slavery
Tainted Smack
Wife & Daughter

Hey you. Yeah, you, punk.

You took a dump on my lawn.

And now you're gonna pay. Big time.

You four-legged, mangy, fur-coated, ass-sniffing sonofabitch. And when I say sonofabitch, I'm being technically accurate, you sonofabitch.

Now I'm gonna fertilize you with lead.

My .457 Wildey Magnum is like an instant obedience school. I'm Animal Control and I'm here to put you down, you no-good flea-infested dirtbag. You're gonna need to turn in your dog tags for a toe tag, you sonofabitch.

Next time you take a dump, it'll be in canine hell!

Charles Bronson was an actor/vigilante and is currently guest commentator for The Heath Ledger. You can find out more about his life and viewpoints in his book, "Read My Book, You Sonofabitch!"

OTHER DEATH WISHES
Tax Deliquent
Carbon Footprint
Dump On My Lawn
Be Kind, Rewind
White Slavery
Tainted Smack
Wife & Daughter

Hey you. Yeah, you, punk.

You borrowed my VHS copy of Crazy People starring Dudley Moore and Darryl Hannah and didn't rewind it.

I thought I'd enjoy some hilarious 'truth in advertising' courtesy of Paramount Pictures home video. But to my chagrin, all I saw on the screen was "filmed in panavision." and the final strains of "The Hello Song."

Apparently, some two-bit scumbag don't know how to work a god-damned VCR.

My first motto is "Live by the sword, die in a hail of bloody hellfire." My second is "Be Kind, Rewind."

I'm sure you'll be able to remember it after I tattoo it to your forehead in lead, you sonofabitch!

I got me a .475 Wildey Magnum long-barreled widowmaker. It's like a viglante's remote control, you no-good punk! But it's only got one button ... death!

I hope you enjoy hell, you scumsucking forgetful sonofabitch, where everything's pay-per-view!


Charles Bronson was an actor/vigilante and is currently guest commentator for The Heath Ledger. You can find out more about his life and viewpoints in his book, "Read My Book, You Sonofabitch!"

OTHER DEATH WISHES
Tax Deliquent
Carbon Footprint
Dump On My Lawn
Be Kind, Rewind
White Slavery
Tainted Smack
Wife & Daughter

Hey you. Yeah, you, punk.

You kidnapped my uncle's secretary and sold her into white slavery.

And now you're gonna pay.

She's chained to a heating duct in the basement of a defunct flour mill, where she's forced to have sex with all sorts of unsavory thugs like you, you sonofabitch.

I'm gonna turn this here .475 Wildey magnum loose on you and perforate your ass until you bleed dry, you got that?

You're gonna have so many holes, you'll look like a champagne fountain at a fancy uptown wedding, you sonofabitch. But it ain't gonna be sparkling wine pourin' outta you, punk, but your no-good blood stinkin' up the street.

I'm gonna leave you to die like a dog in the street, then I'm gonna find that mill, shake it upside down, until your lousy punk-ass roaches come crawlin' out, then I'm gonna stomp 'em dead. You got it, you punk sonofabitch?

Charles Bronson was an actor/vigilante and is currently guest commentator for The Heath Ledger. You can find out more about his life and viewpoints in his book, "Read My Book, You Sonofabitch!"

OTHER DEATH WISHES
Tax Deliquent
Carbon Footprint
Dump On My Lawn
Be Kind, Rewind
White Slavery
Tainted Smack
Wife & Daughter

Hey you. Yeah, you, punk.

You sold my friend's niece some tainted smack.

And now you're gonna pay.

She's in a coma, and you're the bastard sonofabitch who put her there. I'm taking you down with a load of lead, you got it dirtbag?

I ain't gonna let some bleedin' heart judge let you get away with this. I got my justice right here — a .475 Wildey magnum that'll turn your no-good ass into swiss cheese you sonofabitch.

You gotta will, punk? You might want to get yourself one 'cause you got a one-way ticket to Dead City — courtesy of me.

You got it you sonofabitch?

Charles Bronson was an actor/vigilante and is currently guest commentator for The Heath Ledger. You can find out more about his life and viewpoints in his book, "Read My Book, You Sonofabitch!"

OTHER DEATH WISHES
Tax Deliquent
Carbon Footprint
Dump On My Lawn
Be Kind, Rewind
White Slavery
Tainted Smack
Wife & Daughter

Hey you. Yeah, you, punk.

You killed my wife and daughter, you sonofabitch.

And now you're gonna pay.

Do you believe in Jesus? Well, you better. You're gonna meet him, punk. Real soon. This .475 Wildey magnum is a shorter version of the African big game cartridge, it makes a real mess. And it's gonna make a real mess of you, you sonofabitch.

Hope you're hungry, punk, 'cause you're gonna be eatin' a death sandwich!

I get my revenge city-style, you no-good hoodlum. Instant justice. Served up my way.

You got it you sonofabitch?

Charles Bronson was an actor/vigilante and is currently guest commentator for The Heath Ledger. You can find out more about his life and viewpoints in his book, "Read My Book, You Sonofabitch!"


OTHER DEATH WISHES
Tax Deliquent
Carbon Footprint
Dump On My Lawn
Be Kind, Rewind
White Slavery
Tainted Smack
Wife & Daughter