Heath, OH - An area man found himself in deep doo-doo last evening when he arrived home at 2:00 AM because his "goddamn, piece of shit car" wouldn’t start."If it’s not one thing, it’s two things." Would-be casanova Jorge Rosario said, holding a raw steak to his freshly blackened eye. "I swear, I can’t even carry on an illicit affair without something going wrong to fuck it up … that friggin’ shitbox."
Neighbors say they were awakened to the sound of shoes and other objects slamming against the wall behind Rosario’s head shortly after he arrived home and his wife discovered lipstick on his collar.
“This isn’t the first time this son-of-a-bitch has done this,” Rosario’s wife said, still waving the 6-inch fillet knife she held at his throat last evening.
“From now on,” Rosario mumbled in strict confidence, “I’ll just take a cab home.”
