Athens, OH — Sal Motello fashions himself a pizza pioneer.
When he opened the Wake & Bake Pizzeria on North Congress Street in Athens in August, Sal's business plan was to create a unique eatery that featured "breakfast pizzas". The shop would open daily at 8 am and close at 1 pm. He figured the college town, home to Ohio University, was the perfect place for such a venture.
"Breakfast burritos are all the rage, so I thought, why not breakfast pizzas?"
Little did Sal realize that his "breakthrough" pizza shop would become a haven for marijuana enthusiasts. "Apparently, wake and bake means something else to most people. I was taught it was the best time to make pies."
Motello is less-than-enthused about the majority of his clientele. "They all reek of pachoulli ... among other things." he said, while rolling a sausage and egg calzone. "and they're always posting those tacky Hempfest flyers next to my framed photos of Dean Martin and Mario Lanza. "I have to rip that shit down every night."
However, Motello plans no changes to the name nor the menu. "I can't complain, they come in here and eat like there's no tomorrow. It's like they all gots tapeworms or something."
Or something indeed.
Several local church groups initially opposed Motello's restaurant application form. They recently rescinded their opposition after learning that Motello's signature menu items contained no evidence of cannabis.
Upon hearing this, a table of diners from the local chapter of NORML sounded their disappointment.
Said one 'bummed' student: "So this really is oregano?"