Thursday, September 7

Heath Ledger files defamation lawsuit against Heath Ledger.


Heath, OH – Lawyers for The Heath Ledger, your #1 source for fake news and other bullshit, filed a defamation lawsuit in Superior Court this morning against Heath Ledger, the actor, alleging impersonation of an incredibly funny yet hardly read e-newspaper and lousy acting. Tom Cruise is named as co-defendant.

“Why the ladies fawn all over this guy I have no fucking clue.” Hugh Jazzcock, an attorney hired to represent The Ledger during these frivolous proceedings, said before a throng of reporters assembled on the courthouse steps like you see in the movies. “It’s obvious this guy is using the Heath Ledger’s good name and reputation to get noticed and advance his career in Hollywood.”

For more on this story, turn to the Ledger’s “Litigious Society” section.