Friday, March 16

Latest study shows studies take far too long to study.

Columbus, OH – Timed to hit newsstands just as the NCAA tipped off its national championship tournament yesterday, the Center for Something or Other released the results from a study showing that The Ohio State University graduated only 10 percent of its basketball players between the years 1996 and 1999.

That’s right. Eight years ago.

“A number of those Ohio State basketball players who didn’t graduate during those years have gone on to make bales of money playing overseas in Europe and even in the NBA.” James Andrews from the Center for Putting That in Your Pipe and Smoking It said. “So, there.”