Monday, June 21

Landon Donovan to bring 'snack' for match against Algeria.

Johannesburg, South Africa — The United States soccer team has announced that forward Landon Donovan will be responsible for bringing 'snack' for the team's upcoming match against Algeria at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

Win, lose or draw, the team gets to enjoy a snack and a drink after every match.  That is, after congratulating the other team and then running through the 'human tunnel' of players' relatives at midfield.

"Herculez (Gomez) is already bringing Capri Sun Black Cherry Roaring Waters. He had to smuggle them on the plane! They're so awesome!" exclaimed goalkeeper Tim Howard.

Midfielder José Torres added: "We're hoping for Oreo Cakesters or Cheez-Its ... hopefully none of that granola bar crap."

Donovan cautioned his mates on expecting too much, saying "Dudes. We're in South Africa. I haven't a clue what I'll be able to get my hands on ... we might be having fried dung beetles for all I know. "