Friday, March 10

Peace Corps volunteers will always have Haiti,
shared custody.

Port-au-Prince, Haiti — Working together, Peace Corps volunteers, Lauren Beller and Andrew Lundberg built a water filtration system for a gaggle of sickly Haitians.

Sleeping together, they built a baby.

"She told me she was on the pill." Lundberg said gesturing toward the woman he now calls the ‘whore of Hispaniola.’ "If this kid is born black—or French-speaking—I swear to God I’ll kill her, and it!"

"Please." Beller countered. "Like I’d ever sleep with that skinny-assed, aids-infected Jean Claude. I like my penises small … like yours."

After a brief middle finger exchange, the two fornicators stormed off to their respective huts to wallow in self-pity and their hatred toward one another.

“I’m having this baby,” Beller said in a follow-up interview with The Ledger. “Mostly, just to spite.”