Westerville, OH - A pick-up basketball game turned ‘hairy’ last weekend when Ralph Stevens was selected by the captain of the ‘skins’ team.
The hirsute Stevens, a walking argument for evolution, looks like he’s wearing a shirt even when shirtless, which can lead to confusion on the basketball court and a fair amount of disgust in the bedroom.
“I was running the point for the shirts.” Gerry O’Malley of Worthington said. “The guy wearing the sweater was wide-open every time so I just kept feeding him the ball. I didn’t realize we were playing basketball with Khalid Sheik Mohammed.”
To avoid confusion, a motion was passed after the first game to make Stevens a permanent member of the shirts squad. This also served the second purpose of preventing people from throwing up at the mere sight of him.
This isn’t the first time Stevens has caused trouble on the court. He once punched an opposing player for yelling, “air-ball,” believing the guy had shouted “hairball.”