Tuesday, April 27
Don't expect too much from new microbrew.
Charlieweis — a heavy stout made with local wheat, barley, hog lard, and Donut King doughnuts — is being brewed to ‘honor’ new Kansas City Chiefs offensive coordinator and former Notre Dame head coach, Charlie Weis.
“It’s an extremely heavy beer, bottom-fermented, with a dark, cloudy appearance, and an incredibly large head.” described Boulevard Brewmaster Cliff Tipton.
Tipton then added: “and if you’re a Notre Dame fan, it leaves a horrible, bitter aftertaste in your mouth.”
Charlieweis will cost more than the average craft beer, emptying wallets at $150 for a 42 ounce bottle.
“If anyone is not satisfied with Charlieweis after drinking at least 21 of the 42 ounces, we offer a buyout option of $95.”
“It tastes like failure, and I’m sure it will go straight to my gunt.” said Boulevard regular Tommy Boyden, patting the engorged area in between his stomach and crotch.
Boulevard plans to keep Charlieweis on tap for the next 3 years or until it completely disappoints everyone.
at 12:01 PM