• Suffers from worst case of hat-head ever seen.
O'Malley known as much for his signature baseball cap as his 'adequate' comedic acting skills, recently went under the knife to have the hat — which had literally grown into his cranium — removed.
"The hat was a defense mechanism against my impending baldness, but it actually ended up being a handicap of its own — much like being bald is." admitted O' Malley.
"After the second surgery, all that was left was a yarmulke-sized thing. I was afraid I was going to have to brush up on my Yiddish." the former stand-up comedian "joked."
All that remains of the legendary Boston Red Sox cap is the button. Additional procedures may allow surgeons to remove it at a later date, but several are skeptical O' Malley will ever be completely free of the symbiotic chapeau.
Head surgeon Dieter Frohm expressed concern "Wearing the hat every day for the past 31 years resulted in the fibers of the hat growing into Mr. O' Malley's cranial tissues. His hair, what was left of it, had assumed an almost cotton-wool blend quality. It's not quite clear that we'll be able to get all of it."
O' Malley, whose credits include the CBS sitcom "Yes, Dear", those ESPN commercials you really liked years ago, and a recent turn on "Glee", is happy to finally be free of the typecasting that has plagued his career.
"No more being a janitor, mechanic, or retired baseball player. Maybe I'll land a role as a high-profile lawyer."
Maybe you will, Mike. But we sincerely doubt it.
