Tuesday, February 8

Opinion: Hobby Lobbyists behind HO-scale high speed rail boondoggle.

Big Hobby's local headquarters.
By Rod Ballstock
Taxed Enough Already Party Chair
Franklin County Chapter

Who's behind the planned Mini 3C "high speed" rail line between Cleveland and Cincinnati? You know, the one with the stop right here in Columbus?

The answer isn't that difficult to discover. It starts with Hobby and ends with Lobby. That's right, folks — the Hobby Lobby is at it again. First, it was the East Side Doll Housing Project. Now, it's this — more wasteful spending in the name of 'progress.'

I've seen the plans, and so have you. What better word to describe this tiny monstrosity other than "boondoggle?" Granted, I had to look boondoggle up in the dictionary, but it's spot on. High-speed HO gauge rail? Sure, if you call 3 miles per hour "high speed."

How many passengers can you fit on that tiny train? Don't bother googling that shit. I'll tell you — none. Unless you're 9 millimeters tall, you can forget about hitching a ride on the Mini 3C.

In fact, you can fit all of the potential profit models of the Mini 3C on the head of a Dremel Performance Rotary Tool. Not only is this a abominable thimble of pork, it's a nuisance waiting to happen.

What if some kid sneaks into the control room and turns the knob down? Or up? Or shit, puts it into "high-speed" reverse? We're talking about jumping the track and damaging miniature livestock, or worse, a matchbox car or two.  Who's going to pay for that — Ma and Pa Taxpayer, that's who. And that's you!

This is Big Hobby, pure and simple, using all of their dirty tricks —

I could certainly come up with a better way to spend the proposed $914 budget. And so could you. But you're not some big-time consultant paid to bend the legislature's ear with promises of free scrapbooking seminars or the allure of a Revell 1/25 1969 Camaro Z/28 SS model car kit.

It's time we said NO to special interests! It's time we said NO to the shady rumpus room deals! It's time we said NO to the Hobby Lobby! And it's time we take back our country, away from the goons in the power aprons!

So please, call your representatives and tell them to vote NO on HB Bill 522.  Thank you, and may God Bless Ohio.