Friday, July 13

Applications up after office institutes
Casual Sex Fridays.

COLUMBUS, OH —   Tough economic times and lackluster employee morale has led one area company to make doing business on Friday even more casual.

The Frost-Muggins Partnership Ltd. Board of Directors voted unanimously to adopt a new "Casual Sex Fridays" policy — which allows employees to engage in sexual acts on Friday afternoons from 1 to 3:30 pm on premises without fear of penalty.

Employees at the firm are shedding their polo shirts and khakis and 'collaborating' like crazy.

While most agree the move is a positive one, a few associates have complained about intrusive noise levels and the foul and improper uses of company property.

Never eat on or near this table again. Trust us.
"It's just the fat chicks and Mormons bitching again ... same old same old." derided Marketing Director and habitual Casual Sex Friday participant Terry Henderson.

One positive effect of the policy has been an increase in talent attraction.

Human Resources manager Judy Watson can't believe the dramatic influx of resumés.  "Frankly, most applicants aren't what you would call qualified ... Other than having functioning ding-dongs and hoo-has."

Henderson certainly credits the new 'best practice' with improved office morale. "My private sector is doing fine, if you know what I mean." beamed Henderson.

Unfortunately, we do know what he means.

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