Wednesday, May 23

Hey you. Yeah, you, punk.

You didn't give me the benefit of the doubt.

Haven't you ever heard of a thing called mistaken identity? How about I mistake you for a downfield primary neutralization zone target, you no-good dirtbag?

Sure, I shot and maimed an honor student who was delivering medication to his elderly grandmother. Doesn't that still make him a drug-dealer? Who can tell these days with the baggy low-ass pants and the sideways baseball hats?

Seriously, for once I'm asking questions first and shooting later.

What's that? You're going to take me to court? Well, me and my 1.245-caliber Wildey Magnum whale gun are here to pass ultimate judgment, punk. How about I put some preconceived bullets into your preconceived notions, you presumptuous piece of garbage?

They say it's not good to assume. Do you know why? Because it makes an ass out of me, and a dead man out of you, you sonofabitch.



Charles Bronson was an actor/vigilante and is currently guest commentator for The Heath Ledger, although that might not last. You can find out more about his life and viewpoints in his book, "Read My Book, You Sonofabitch!"