Heath, OH — Earl and Kelly Palmer were hoping their recent garage sale would go off without a hitch.
Unfortunately, it did not.
"We decided to place an ad in the local paper ... you know, The Heath Ledger, to increase traffic." said Earl, a semi-retired mechanic and amateur classified ad copywriter.
The ad, as Palmer described, was to advertise their upcoming Garage Sale.
"Imagine my chagrin when I opened the paper and saw that we were advertising a garbage sale, and NOT a garage sale!" spat a clearly perturbed Palmer. "Your god-damned rag screwed up my ad!"
Even though the classified contained the typo, it described the items for sale at the Palmer home with an almost eerie prescience.
Most of the sale attendees were less than impressed with the Palmers' second-hand wares, and avid garage saler and flea-market buff Winnie Granderson of Jacksontown had this to say: "This stuff is shit. Goodwill wouldn't even take this crap. It belongs in the town dump."
"I guess I can give them credit for being truthful about all of this dreck." offered Marty Quinlan, another visitor to the Palmers' sale.
The "Garbage" Sale contained the following items:
One-sided waffle iron
Barbie Dreamhouse festooned with crayon-drawn "Whore" graffiti
Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket formerly used as a cistern
Shoebox full of shale
Old mail addressed to Esther C. Bonaventure, Jr.
Scrabble tiles that collectively can spell FARTBAG or FATGRAB.
With the cost of yard signs and the classified ad, the Palmers took a twelve dollar loss on the sale.
"Your online source for local bullshit. Now that's truthful advertising!" Palmer screamed as he punched your reporter square in the jaw.
Assault charges against Palmer are pending.