Tuesday, April 13

Frito Lay announces new
'Gay Doritos' line.

Plano, TX —  Snacking is now more fabulous than ever.

Frito-Lay, a division of PepsiCo,  has announced a new line of Doritos brand tortilla chips aimed directly at the growing gay snacking market.

"We've learned that hunger comes in all shapes, sizes and sexual orientations." said Frito-Lay spokesperson Claudia Rosales.

Companies looking to gain an edge in emerging markets would be ignorant not to design or market products specifically to the gayest Americans.

"The LGBT market comprises a large and influential group of customers across industry segments, across many countries around the globe. In the U.S. alone, the LGBT market is estimated to be worth $660 billion in disposable income." Rosales quoted, nearly verbatim from Wikipedia. 

The new gay flavors hitting shelves include 'Qrispy Quiche', Late Night Dance Party, and something only referred to as 'Smooth.'

Rosales chuckled "we've altered the textural makeup of the chip to make it more palatable to the gay community."

The company also plans targeted marketing in gay communities across the globe, featuring gay-friendly personalities like Shakira, Christina Aguilera, and recent American Idol contestant Adam Lambert. 

Rosales forsees a future where other Frito-Lay products are equally 'out.'

"Gay Lays are right around the corner."