Friday, April 5

Area man has gluten allergy-allergy.

COLUMBUS, OH - Joseph Webb, 55, doesn’t want to be defined by his People With Gluten Allergy-Allergy.

“I’m a regular person." He says. "I just have an intolerance for people who are intolerant of wheat products and won’t shut the fuck up about it.”

Allergic to the allergic.
Webb is referring to Celiac Disease. You’ve probably heard of it—most likely after you offered someone who suffers from it a beer, chips, or god-forbid, a piece of bread. That person probably then went on to tell you more than you ever needed or wanted to know about the disease and the symptoms it triggers, symptoms that must be talked about, often with total strangers. Abdominal bloating, vomiting, constipation, and everyone’s favorite, chronic diarrhea! 

Trust us, they could go on.

People who suffer from Celiac Disease cannot tolerate gluten, a protein found in wheat, rye and barley. It prompts an immune response that damages the villi, the fingerlike protrusions that line the small intestine. For more information about Celiac Disease, offer someone who suffers from it a cracker.

For Joe Webb and others like him, dealing with people who can’t deal with gluten can cause irritation, a spike in blood-pressure, uncontrollable laughter and flatulence. 

“I’m a people-person, just not a people with gluten allergy-person.” Webb admitted. “I’ll be like, hey, who wants to go grab a beer? It’s Friday. Been a long week. And they’ll be all, ‘Oh, I’d love to but I have CELIAC DISEASE! Let me tell you about it until you lose your appetite and/or want to kill yourself.’”