KANGBE, SIERRA LEONE - An entire African village emerged from a peaceful slumber this morning, still wrapped in the warm embrace provided by worthless New York Mets 2015 World Series Champions T-shirts, hats, pennants and foam fingers.
The shipment of "championship" goodies arrived in port Saturday after two weeks on the Atlantic in a cargo ship that had been overtaken by Pittsburgh Pirates a few days earlier.
Pirates All-Star center fielder Andrew McCutchen was said to have waved his 34-inch Louisville Slugger shouting, “What the fuck is this shit?" while ace pitcher Gerrit Cole fired a fastball at the vessel's captain demanding to know, "Where is our Wild Card runner-up merchandise? And what's with all this Mets garbage?"
Tribesman Hakeem Akabookie confirmed one Pittsburgh Pirate’s trash is an African village’s treasure, pumping a giant foam-fingered fist in the air with an emphatic, “Let's. Go. Mets!”