The Heath Ledger

Thursday, November 26

at 8:44 PM

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Featured Nonsense

Area contractor accidentally builds wrong coffee and donut shop.

Pickerington, OH — Eager Pickerington residents excited for the new Tim Horton's Coffee and Bake Shop opening this past Tuesday were in...

Fake But Not Accurate

Vagina discovered during popular author’s routine physical.

Los Angeles, CA - Doctors found a vagina between the legs of popular novelist Nicholas Sparks this morning, hidden beneath a bush in a tang...
Speed-dating concept misunderstood by participant.

Heath, OH — First time speed-dating participant Randall Hartwell was confused and frustrated after repeatedly failing to ‘seal the deal” at...
Area dad hates all his children
the same.

GROVE CITY, OH - Lest it ever be called into question again, Joe Drummond wants you to know he does not play least favorites. “I hate a...
Porn star succumbs to death of a thousand cunts.

VAN NUYS, CA — A porn star's attempt at the record books has left him permanently stiff. Production on "Dwayng 'The Cock'...
Supreme Court mandates goatees for all bald men, regardless of age.

Washington, DC — (AP) In a rare unanimous decision, the U.S. Supreme Court has declared that all bald men, regardless of age, must grow a go...

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Petty Grievances
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High School History Lesson

Where in the hell is Heath, Ohio?

Good question. Heath is located east of Columbus, Ohio. With a population of over 10,000 inhabitants, Heath is a bustling community with roads, houses, some stop lights, a few drug dealers, and a small band of feral malcontents.

In addition to being home to America's Least Reliable News Source, the fair town of Heath is also the home of the Indian Mound Mall, a Denny's, and several nice people.