Monday, November 20

Area man clueless about fiancee's
newfound love of "hockey."

Heath, Ohio — Janelle Funicello has a new attraction to 'hockey', even if it's not quite the on-ice sport most commonly think of.

Her fiancee, Todd Horvath of Pickerington, couldn't be happier. "In the 19 months Janelle and I have been dating, she never seemed to like sports much. Now, we have another thing in common."

Janelle's discovery came after a weekend getaway with her older sister, Janice, to Las Vegas.

"We had a blast. Who knew hockey could be so much fun?" Janelle beamed, emphatically finger-quoting the word 'hockey'.

Horvath, oblivious, said "What can I say? She's Italian. She always talks with her hands."

When asked about the trip, Horvath seemed equally ill-informed. "It seems like they had a great time. Who knew hockey was such a big thing in Vegas? It's unfortunate she lost her cell phone. I was hoping she got some great photos. Otherwise, she's been pretty tight-lipped about it since she returned."

Horvath's complete ignorance continued as the two snuggled on their couch.

"Janelle says her favorite team is the Blackhawks." Horvath elaborated. "I'm more of a Columbus Blue Jackets fan myself, you know, living in central Ohio, but whatever. I think this can really take our relationship into a whole new direction."
Funicello just sat next to Horvath, giggling and muttering "Blackkawks."

Horvath, slightly embarrased, rubbed Funicello's knee. "No honey, I think that's black ... Hawks."

"It was a real eye-opener, to say the least. I've never seen so much action in the crease." Janelle beamed. "Lots of poke checking, butt ending, a few face-offs, highsticking, kneeling. There was one guy who spent forever in the box, if you know what I mean ... it was an exhausting night."

Todd smiled. "She even has the lingo down. I'm kind of proud of her."

Co-worker Jodi Lewis is less enthused about Janelle's sudden sports 'awakening'. "She talks an awful lot about her 'stickhandling' skills. And don't even get her started about 'the five hole'." Lewis has submitted several distasteful emails from Funicello to the Human Resources department at Fifth Third Bank, where the two have been associates for the past two years.

"Frankly, they had nothing to do with hockey."